On this journey of life, what often gets overlooked and discarded is pausing to breath and really celebrating how far we have come. Yes our society does believe is celebrating, but often it is explicit, external and material successes. This has validity but when over-emphasised we loose sight of the much deeper and in my opinion powerful inner developments and changes within us that need to be recognised and celebrated.
In therapy or even in life the most challenging thing for people is to recognise their success and allow it to inform them. Often one is so identified with the “traumatised” or “wounded” part of ourself, that when change happens and new behaviours begin to establish themselves these are often dismissed as freak one off occurrences. Or we jump to the next “problem” or “issue “ that needs to be looked at, which often come out as a but statement; “I may have stood up for myself but it was only with my friend, I don't think I can do that with my boss.”
The I am statement
The hardest part is making “I am” statement that invites you to own the change. For example “I am courageous” (if the person has been fearful) or “I am powerful” (if the person has been a victim). “It doesn't feel right”, “its like someone else is saying this” is the feedback I hear.
This is why celebration is so important. Taking the time to embrace this new identity, feeling the discomfort and recognising that it is not uncomfortable, just something different. Looking at what allowed you to get to this place, what supported you to get here, what did you need, who were your allies and was the result something that supported you. Recognising the above allows you to replicate this in your life and move towards more fulfilment. Going one step further you may also wish to have an external celebration, however small or large to symbolically recognise this moment.
It is my hope that this article makes you pause and reflect on recent positive change in your life. How you were with it and if you did take a moment to celebrate it? How do you usually celebrate? It would be great to hear back from you.